How we got to here...pre op and post op

This makes me cry. He takes it a lot better than I do. Or so it seems. I cringe when we talk about surgery coming up.
This time he recongnized the hospital, the nurse and the tiny pre op room. Even Elmo didnt soothe him. I rocked him and we waited.


Then came the first dose to relax him. It was a relief to see him start to give in and anxiety slip away. I always worry about how much of what ever it takes for him to be asleep, totally asleep in OR. I know they are professional and make sure he is out completely but I worry. He seems to always have nightmares after surgery. I rocked him as he began to let go.


Anxiety and deep breaths and finally it was done. It took me days to write this. We have been cuddled and quietly resting for a week now. Today we are better. We are home and on the road to healing. Today it is past and we are playing and laughing again. The scars are there. What would you do to keep your child alive for another year? For another 10 years? This is what I do. I make a deal every six months and pray every day.

They were able to reseat the hook at the base of his spine. There was no need to go all the way down to the pelvic bone to attach. Grateful for that. Very grateful. Prayer works wonders...The rod has one more lengthening and then it is time to replace it. One more time and then we go back for a replacement. What would you do to keep breathing? This is what we do.